The Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), as narrated in an authentic hadith collected by Ibn Hibban, said
Four (things) are from happiness: a righteous wife, a spacious house, a good neighbour and an easy ride.
Four (things) are from misfortune: a bad neighbour, a bad wife, a bad ride and a cramped house.
So, anyone know any good women err…horses going?
April 23, 2007 at 7:13 am
you’re a barrel of laughs Abu E
April 23, 2007 at 7:53 am
Yeah at the grand national my brother1
April 23, 2007 at 8:25 am
My God !!
If there was a poll for which student of knowledge talks the most about women…
Abu Eesa would win hands down !!
April 23, 2007 at 9:48 am
Somebody grossly misquoted the above Hadīth at the AlKauthar Mark of a Jurist course yesterday, about a spacious house, trying to justify taking a Riba-based loan for it!
April 23, 2007 at 10:56 am
Keep ‘em comin!!
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
Sacha Guitry
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Women inspire us to great things, and prevent us from achieving them.
Dumas
The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to
go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft
music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
Henny Youngman
“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
Sam Kinison
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
James Holt McGavran
“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and
the second one didn’t.”
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
Milton Berle
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy
Anonymous
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next
day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You
can have mine.”
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
April 23, 2007 at 11:45 am
I heard this one in the brothers’ section of a dinner party recently:
A man was making a phone call to his wife whilst in the presence of his friends. He was speaking to her using a very authoritative tone:
“No, you listen! Just make sure that the water is hot when I get home. You hear me? I want HOT water!”
When he got off the phone his friends were somewhat in awe of him and passed comment on how he seemed to have his wife firmly under his control.
He replied “Of course! Does she expect me to wash the dishes with cold water?”
April 23, 2007 at 1:03 pm
A Woman’s Prayer:
” Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I’ll just beat him to death “
April 23, 2007 at 1:28 pm
oh dear oh dear, I’m female, but I cant help but laugh!
April 23, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Bro Imran them quotes were funny, made me laugh!!!!! MashAllah gotta give it to Abu Easa for the enthusiasm of this topic, lol.
April 23, 2007 at 3:21 pm
Imran, I coudn’t help but smile at the quotes – even tho I tried not to!
Her’s one, ‘You often see smart men with dumb women, but you never see a smart woman with a dumb guy, ‘
My husband is a very smart man, Alhamdulillah.
April 23, 2007 at 3:52 pm
The FBI were looking for an assasin recruit, 3 candidates left, 2 men 1 woman.
Last test is ruthlessness. Each candidate gets a gun and is asked to kill their partner for the job, not knowing the gun was not real anyway.
1st man takes gun home, but comes out saying he couldn’t do it.
2nd man takes gun home, but comes out saying he pointed the gun but her sweet face stopped him.
The woman takes the gun home to her husband. FBI hear shouts, screams and silence after 10 minutes.
She comes out. “Do I get the job? The gun didn’t work so I beat him to death with the chair instead.”
April 23, 2007 at 6:27 pm
…Yet all brothers! Dream, Wish and Pray! of being able to afford 4 wives!!
April 23, 2007 at 7:00 pm
My God !!
If there was a poll for which student of knowledge talks the most about women…
Abu Eesa would win hands down
My absolute most favourite subject(s) in the world. Then eau de parfum. Then chocolate.
April 23, 2007 at 7:41 pm
…yet a woman NEVER EVER EVER wishes or even thinks about having more than one husband…
April 23, 2007 at 8:01 pm
Eau De Parfum? Chocolate?
Is this the norm for brothers?
Or is it just Abu Eesa, who is tad bit weird?
April 23, 2007 at 8:09 pm
Nope, just me.
April 24, 2007 at 9:38 am
Assalamu alaykum
Umm Maymoonah I hope you are not implying that you are dumb!!!
Oh and btw:
Hadeeth
The Prophet (greetings and peace be upon him) said:
“The world and all things in the world are precious but the most precious thing in the world is a virtuous woman.”
[Sahih Muslim]
&
“The best of you are they who behave best to their wives.”
&
“Treat your women well and be kind to them, for they are your partners and committed helpers.”
[Part of the Prophet's Farewell sermon]
&
“The best property a man can have is a remembering tongue (about Allah), a grateful heart and a believing wife who helps him in his faith.”
April 24, 2007 at 10:00 am
*not surprised* @ Abu Eesa
April 24, 2007 at 12:27 pm
re: yearningforAllah
As Allah is my witness everyone, the most valuable, precious and irreplaceable person that this world contains is my wife. And if that’s not the case for everyone else, then you’re either not married, you either didn’t choose the right wife or it’s most likely that you’re just too thick a bloke to realise it.
May Allah bless all the good believers with the most righteous wives, ameen.
April 24, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Its so obvious you badly want a second wife. I don’t mind helping you
April 24, 2007 at 1:20 pm
I’m available btw, sorry but times are hard thats why I’m being so blatent about it *embarassed smiley*
April 24, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Erm, I hope your wife doesn’t read this.
April 24, 2007 at 1:33 pm
YearningforAllah you’re supposed to be with us! (Wait till I see you!)
You know I find quite annoying is when a man is very good to his wife, spends time with his family etc, brothers accuse him of being ‘under his wifes thumb’ etc, I’ve witnessed quite a few different situations where this happened.
Also many Women are ‘ashamed’ to be ‘housewifes’ these days and some men are ashamed to be good fathers, husbands etc.
As sheikh Abu Yusuf said in MOJ this weekend, we need to elevate the status of women as a mother, wife etc. We don’t appreciate how much our wives, mothers etc do.
Some people have suggested I go on too much about marriage, family etc in my blog, but
One of the things I feel really strongly about is how we don’t value our marriages and families enough these days when these are the foundations for our community and wider society.
If we all put more effort into our relationship with Allah first and foremost then on our marriages and families we would see the effects on the wider society.
April 24, 2007 at 1:34 pm
Is there no edit or delete option on wordpress?
April 24, 2007 at 3:15 pm
Ghetto chill out please.
Umm M, I don’t think you can moify your comments on wordpress.
April 24, 2007 at 4:03 pm
hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @ 2nd wife.
Sisters I know times are hard on the ole marriage front, but come on get a grip
April 24, 2007 at 4:55 pm
I received this email today…
On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.
Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die,” she wails. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?”
For a moment there is silence.. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stared, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then an Italian man stands up in the rear of the plane. He is gorgeous : tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.
He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt….one button at a time….
No one moves……
He removes his shirt……
Muscles ripple across his chest…..
She gasps…….
He whispers: ……
“Iron this, and get me something to eat…”
April 24, 2007 at 5:07 pm
Wow…27 comments, and now 28…only a topic on women could generate such a response.
April 24, 2007 at 5:10 pm
Abu Eesa. Ameen at the dua.
Umm Maymoonah what you saying.. of course I am with you lol!!!
was just reaffirming the status women have…
btw you went to MOJ.. ok lets take that discussion to the forum!
big up to the homemakers and those (few) bros who recognise the value of the woman.
wassalam
bintyaqub
April 24, 2007 at 7:24 pm
Ya Abu Eesa….
to most i’d say they need to get out more…
for you im thinking you should stay at home, with your wife, chocolate and eau de parfum….
aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Allah knows best….
That is unless you are looking for another wife…then i’d suggest going to the local fitnafull mixed talk
April 24, 2007 at 8:44 pm
Re: AE’s comment no. 19
Bro, I knew you’d give in eventually to admitting how wonderful a woman can be. So, you haven’t disappointed us after all with your nasty comments about women. Masha Allah your comment was very sweet, and may all husbands of good wives feel this way too, insha Allah.
April 24, 2007 at 8:55 pm
okay lets stop talking about marriage and women and stuff. Abu Esa write another post already…….. I think I prefer the football ones.
April 24, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Just an ammendment to your dua…..
May Allah bless all the good believers with the most righteous wives, ameen….
Is better said….
May Allah bless all the good believers with the most righteous PARTNERS, ameen.
We don’t all want wives thank you very much…..
and remember..possibly more than 50% of the believers are female…so why miss them out in your dua? Increase your reward by including everybody!
April 24, 2007 at 9:23 pm
Back to the issue of horses, a group of us have been investigating over the last 6 months the possibility of buying a horse; we want it mostly for our families to use privately, whilst having the local stables look after it.
The problem though of course is that even as a syndicate, the costs seem to total over six hundred pounds a month, minus expensive shoe-ing costs and vets fees, and of course the purchase price with equipment etc.
Horse riding is looking extremely expensive, and thus out of the reach of the majority of us. Is there anyone who has contacts and/or knowledge of this field and sort something out for us on the cheap?
Actually, forget the rest of the syndicate as long as I get sorted…
April 24, 2007 at 10:50 pm
Are you actually wanting to buy a horse? Would you settle for lessons or riding sessions using the same one?
Horse riding is expensive, but owning a horse is realllly expensive.
If you are particularly interested in owning a horse, one of my old school friends was MAD on horses and bought one a few years ago when she moved from the mainland onto one of the smaller islands of the coast.
A word of warning though, she was loaded.
April 24, 2007 at 11:32 pm
ya shaykh, you should moderate your comments section again insha allah.
April 25, 2007 at 12:08 pm
I am very serious about getting a horse but quickly realising that to take up such a sport here in South Manchester/Cheshire is way beyond our collective means.
Alhamdulillah ‘ala kulli hal.
RE moderation: that is the biggest pain in the neck ever, and requires to much time. Forget that for a laugh.
April 26, 2007 at 3:21 pm
dis discusion 2 funi!!! u certainly knw hw 2 mke us lauf AE
April 29, 2007 at 5:20 pm
???
May 2, 2007 at 3:32 pm
as-salamu alaykum, an easy ride – could that be also referring to a car *tries hard not to holler ‘pimp my ride baby yeah* … or is the arabic word associated with horses?
That’s a serious question btw AE.. and would you mind putting up the full thing in arabic for reference. I like collecting ahadeeth pertaining to halal past times.
May 2, 2007 at 6:58 pm
Wa ‘alaykum salam
It refers to horses O one of the MTV generation…
Here’s the arabic text:
أربع من السعادة : المرأة الصالحة ، والمسكن الواسع والجار الصالح ، والمركب الهنيء ،
وأربع من الشقاء : المرأة السوء ، والجار السوء ، والمركب السوء والمسكن الضيق
May 4, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Jazakallah khair O Shaikh of the ZeeTV generation..
(couldnt resist that!)
Ummm.. due to my poor arabic, may I humbly request a transliteration of the above hadeeth?
Also, any other incidental points of benefit you may have to share with us about the above hadeeth, or indeed, on horses..?
(fantastic marriage jokes by the way guys.. i gotta dig one out that i emailed my wife some time ago)
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