I marvel at the delicious irony of life sometimes.
I prepared a 30-hour series on the “Rights of the Parents” over the period of a whole year, with hundreds and hundreds of pages of commentary, with one key objective: to get all the Muslims to realise the value and importance of their Parents and then to seek Allah’s forgiveness for our inevitable shortcomings when that fact suddenly dawns.
Yet the video below will establish this fact in indescribable fashion and in only a few minutes. It just goes to show that all you need to convey this most fundamental message is sincerity, six minutes and a camera. May Allah reward all of those involved in producing and promoting this piece of work.
By the way, when you’ve stopped crying, recognise your guilt and now do something about it. May Allah give us all the tawfiq to do that which He commands us to.
Here is the original poem that the paralysed brother in the video, may Allah unite him with his parents in Firdaws al-A’la, quotes from:
أغرى امرؤ يوماً غلاماً جاهلاً * * * بنقوده كيما ينال به الوطر
One day a man tempted an ignorant boy
Using his money, in order to achieve his objective
قال ائتني بفؤاد أمك يا فتى * * * ولك الدراهم والجواهر والدرر
He said, “O young one, bring me the heart of your mother
And money, jewels and pearls will be yours!”
فمضى و أغرز خنجراً في صدرها * * * و القلب أخرجه و عاد على الأثر
So he went and plunged a dagger into her chest
And took out the heart and returned the way he came
لكنه من فرط سرعته هوى * * * فتدحرج القلب المعفر إذ عثر
But because of his haste, he fell
And the dusty heart rolled away as he stumbled
ناداه قلب الأم و هو معفر * * * ولدي حبيبي هل أصابك من ضرر
The heart of his mother called him, and he was covered in dust,
“My son! My beloved! Are you hurt?!”
فكأن هذا الصوت رغم حنوه * * * غضب السماء به على الولد انهمر
The voice, although it was so gentle, yet
It was like the wrath of the Heavens had fallen on the boy
ودرى فظيع خيانة لم يأتها * * * أحد سواه منذ تاريخ البشر
Thus he understood the enormity of his betrayal that nobody
Had committed but him in the history of mankind
فارتد نحو القلب يغسله بما * * * أجرت دموع العين من سيل العبر
So he rushed back to the heart washing it with the tears
Of his eyes that flowed from the flood of sorrow
و يقول يا قلب انتقم مني و لا * * * تغفر فإن جريمتي لا تغتفر
And he said, “O heart! Take your revenge from me and do not
Forgive, because my crime is unforgiveable.
و إذا غفرت فإنني أقضي انتـ * * *ـحارا مثل من قبلي انتحر
And if you forgive then surely I will kill myself
Like those before me who have committed suicide.”
فاستل خنجره ليقتل نفسه * * * طعناً فيبقى عبرة لمن اعتبر
So as he unsheathed his dagger to kill himself,
A stabbing that would remain as an example to those who seek lessons,
ناداه قلب الأم كف يداً و لا * * * تذبح فؤادي مرتين على الأث
The heart of the mother called him saying, “Stop your hand and do not
strike my heart twice in succession!”
This was said to be the work of the poet Ibrahim al-Mundhir but it is more likely the poem of the Christian poet Bishara al-Khouri who was actually the first President of Lebanon.
I expect to be rewarded for all my efforts in propagating this knowledge insha’Allah but I hope that the anonymous poster who brought this video to my attention in the previous post comment’s section receives double that reward.
November 4, 2008 at 8:59 pm
jazakumAllahu khayran.
November 4, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Abu Eesa, i really like your posts! youre actually not that bad
November 4, 2008 at 9:50 pm
Who said he was “bad” in the first place?
Is anyone safe from S.Google?
November 4, 2008 at 9:55 pm
mashAllah what an excellent piece of advice
and sheikh you are right in that this video encompasses everything in six minutes that you have been trying to get across in a year…I have to say this video affected me more
Alhamdulillah I have no reservations on hugging and kissing my parents although I havent quite mustered up the courage to tell them “I love you” in urdu….its easy to say in english…and I say it everyday to my children…but I need to work on that as even though we may do acts that show indirecly we love them…there’s nothing nicer than that embrace followed by verbalisation of our love for them….
the brother now stands as a witness for or against us like he says…may Allah grant him the best in dunya and the best in aakhira
November 5, 2008 at 12:19 am
It was truly great, poignant poetry. If that doesn’t shake your heart for emotion, quite possibly, nothing will.
November 5, 2008 at 12:34 am
SubhanAllah
amazing post Jazakallahu khair my brother Abu Eesa for this and all those involved in some way shape or form in gathering collecting and filming. May Allah reward you all in abundance. ameen.
All I would say is it is’nt too late. We all still have time to either work harder at the relationships we have with our parents or renew the ones we have lost.
We cannot, even in our whole lifetime pay back our mother just for the hardships she endured during our birth and weaning let alone the endless support she gives us throughout our life.
Fathers are not far behind with their guidance and motivation alhamdulillah.
Remember there are many that have lost parents or have never known thier parents may Allah swt ease their hearts so those of us here that do then make the most of the time you have with them.
I know for me my parents are the centre of my universe after Allah but it took me a while to realise that but I will do anything and everything for them and I sincerely pray that Allah swt forgive them, have Mercy upon them and give them the best in this life and the next. Ameen
jazakallahu khair again for sharing this. I pretty much cried all the way through.
November 5, 2008 at 1:35 am
JazakAllah khair sheikh and also to the person who first posted it.
SubhanAllah I really do miss the Adab classes and i’ve 3 other people say so just in the last couple of days.
November 5, 2008 at 8:44 am
Amin, May Allah unite the brother with his parents in the highest places of Jannah.
Allahu Musta’an.
Jazakallah Khayr
November 5, 2008 at 9:12 am
I remember abu eesa saying the adab clases would start again after hajj.
We all know he is a man of his word!
November 5, 2008 at 10:25 am
yes he also said that whenever he couldn’t make the classes, he’d always have someone else in place to give some sort of talk….
he indeed is a man of his word….
November 5, 2008 at 11:40 am
[...] Abu Eesa) Related PostsDeadbeat [...]
November 5, 2008 at 4:45 pm
omg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abu_Eesa_Niamatullah
November 5, 2008 at 5:29 pm
“His political involvement with the Government has been criticised, moreso when he joined part of a select group of religious leaders invited to attend monthly round-table dialogues with MPs at the House of Commons organised jointly by Sadiq Khan MP and the Muslim Weekly Newspaper.” [46]
Whats goin on here AE?????????
November 6, 2008 at 3:34 am
i’ve read this poem about 10 times since it was posted. It is by far more beuatiful than any poetry i hav read. SubhanAllah.
November 6, 2008 at 4:29 am
I find it really hard to hug my mum. Simply because we’ve never had that type of relationship. Only my youngest sister hugs her. The rest of us don’t and we cannot remember a time when my mum would hug and kiss us.
My father on the other hand often hugs and kisses us when greeting us or saying goodbye.
I would love to be able to hug my mum but I think we would both feel so awkward about it.
How to overcome this?
November 6, 2008 at 1:02 pm
UMM
Just go for it!
November 6, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Salams all
I remember abu eesa saying the adab clases would start again after hajj.
We all know he is a man of his word!
It’s a good thing then that you don’t know me very well! I’m many things but a man of my word? Naah.
yes he also said that whenever he couldn’t make the classes, he’d always have someone else in place to give some sort of talk…
In fairness, this was in reference to when the classes were running and in between when I had to travel or something, there was always a replacement and my thanks to all of them for coming too. When the attendance and seriousness of the students started to wane, and the time involved became to much for all parties to keep up, we called it quits straight away and that was the end of any sort of Friday night programme. Better to go out at the top-ish, than for everyone to get too bitter later on. I did advise everyone to make individual efforts to learn their religion and I said that if I saw a real interest and desire then I would reconsider but I can assure that I have seen anything but, wallahu a’lam.
omg
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abu_Eesa_Niamatullah
“His political involvement with the Government has been criticised, moreso when he joined part of a select group of religious leaders invited to attend monthly round-table dialogues with MPs at the House of Commons organised jointly by Sadiq Khan MP and the Muslim Weekly Newspaper.” [46]
Whats goin on here AE?????????
Ajeeb.
Reading this again, I think I have a good idea who clearly are the non-Muslims behind this, who although may be intending good, need to sort their facts out. Hmmm…
I’ll need to make some enquiries!
i’ve read this poem about 10 times since it was posted. It is by far more beuatiful than any poetry i hav read. SubhanAllah.
You’ve just reminded me of something I wanted to say a while back with the first poem I put up.
Arabic poetry (like any foreign poetry I suppose) is very difficult to translate, and I often take a few artistic liberties in translating the pieces I do, as I have also done on this site although less so with the poem above as it is more straight-forward. Yet please realise that the real beauty of the piece is in the rhyming of the Arabic and I only wish I could convey that better.
Forgive me for any deficencies.
I would love to be able to hug my mum but I think we would both feel so awkward about it.
How to overcome this?
This is a very important question that is probably in the mind of many people.
What we need to understand is that Birr’l-Walidayn or “being excellent to the Parents” is composed of actions from the Sunnah, and also composed of actions from our ‘urf or our custom. Likewise, it is permissible to leave out actions that might be very respectful for other people and traditions but wouldn’t have the desired effect in your own custom, tradition, or even your own household and your specific relationship with your own individual parents.
This is useful, and has been taken from the differing actions of the Salaf with their parents, and will help us to produce a more deep, nuanced and authentic relationship with our parents than just having rules and ideas being forced upon us. Therefore, the concept of hugging our folks, or kissing their feet: this is a very powerful and authentic expression of our love for them, and is often understood as such by the receiving parent.
But when the parent is unaffected by such an action, or it doesn’t have a real meaning with them due to their mindset/mentality, and you both know that doing something else will be far more powerful and effective? This is the real crux of the issue, what we call the ‘illa of the action of birr.
So what I’m trying to say is that everyone should focus on doing those actions or saying those things or giving those gifts or whatever, that will make your parents have no doubt in their minds that you are completely devoted to them, completely at their service and that they feel absolutely no distress at your behaviour and actions in general.
I hope this point is understood.
Therefore if one believes that a hug would be difficult and uncomfortable as such, then leave it out and do something else that will be more appreciated by your mother! And if you think that you’ll just embarrass your parents by kissing their feet, then do something else that will have the same desired effect i.e. as I mentioned above.
If I tried to kiss my dad’s feet, I’d get all my teeth broken! But I know exactly what makes my father happy, proud and content with me and therefore allow me to insha’Allah fulfill the obligations of Birr’l-Walidayn.
As for our mothers, well, God help us all!
A final point: let not my explanation allow people to let their guard down and drop the very high standards of behaviour and action required on our behalf on the excuse of, “that’s baisti doing that!” because there is no such thing as baisti in these issues, just what is good and what is better.
Wallahu muwaffaq.
AE
November 6, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Jazakallah Khair for the post abu Eesa and to the anonymous poster in the last post, a real eye opener!!!!
It reminded me about this similar video, its more to do with gratitude on a more holistic approach about oneself but important non the less. Im sure you’ve all seen it before but if not here it is…
http://www.islamictube.net/watch/dac53a55801a066b70da/Thank-Allah
November 6, 2008 at 3:55 pm
jazakAllah khair ya sheikh!
November 6, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Everytime i watch that vid, it brings me to tears. JazakAllah for the much needed reminder.
wasalam.
November 6, 2008 at 9:21 pm
sallam alikum
i have nothing to say but Jazaku Allah alf khaer for everyone who contributed in forming this post, from brother AE and the brother in the video.
Such an effective video, and post!
May Allah (SWT) reward all out mothers, and let them gain sabir over us children
November 6, 2008 at 10:54 pm
You know i’ve been feeling like perhaps i’m suffering from some kind of deficiency of weakness of heart because of being unable to hug her.
Last year she went abroad. My husband and I went to the airport to see her off. I was heavily pregnant. She was like ‘ok then i’m going, look after yourself.’ And I was like okay then. Take care mum.’ And that was it.
My husband really made me feel like i’d done something wrong by not hugging her. I sent a message to my sister, ‘Tell mum I’m sorry I didn’t hug her but I do love her.’
My mum replied to my sister, ‘Tell her i’m glad she didn’t hug me! I would’ve broke down with guilt for leaving my daughter while she’s heavily pregnant!’
But even though we have an understanding between us I’ve still been feeling so low about this issue.
I’m really grateful for your response above sheikh. And I think if anything all this shows how much we need the adab classes again!
November 7, 2008 at 2:11 am
umm,
I gave my mother hugs all the time, even in my adulthood. And I am a fully grown, mature man.
One day, your mother will undertake the transition to the afterlife (as we all will), and then it will be too late. Then you would have wished that you hugged her as often as possible.
Trust me, there is no point in over-analysing this issue, just give her a hug. Mothers really love affection from their offspring.
A heard the speech of a wise-scholar who said (to the nearest meaning), no matter how old a mothers offspring gets; when in proximity to its mother, will turn back into a child.
I suggest that you gain that proximity, hug her, even if it makes her cry – but they will be tears of happiness.
Please, forgive me if I have spoken out-of-term, but that was never my intention.
November 7, 2008 at 10:15 am
Not at all you have not spoken out of term. But here I am left feeling deficient again! I’l therefore probably stick to my original plan which was to sit next to her more, talk, laugh, serve her etc. And hopefully the closer I get I hope it will lead to a hug.
November 7, 2008 at 10:17 am
salaam!
My father does not allow me near him ever since i reached puberty so hugs, kiss on the hands is all out of bounds. JZK for your advise sheikh makes me feel much better il jus try do other things which he appreciates more… like food.
November 7, 2008 at 11:24 am
subhanalla, wat a great message !
November 7, 2008 at 11:31 am
my gosh – if your mamma doesn’t like hugs etc or doesn’t feel like a hug for whatever reason, don’t hug her!!! It’s not he end of the world. And if she secretly wanted a hug and you didn’t realise, well, we all mistakes – say sorry, move on. Don’t dwell on something so trivial when there is so much more to worry about – like kids in orphanages who no-one will touch let alone hug.
November 7, 2008 at 1:11 pm
hey I don’t think its trivial!
November 7, 2008 at 1:15 pm
dear umm
eid ul adha is round the corner
do you do the ritual eid hugs and kisses??
let the eid hug be the start of further regular contact inshAllah…i cannot imagine any mum not secretly enjoying that hug even if giving the impression they dont like it….go on sis just try inshAllah…either way you are not deficient…as you are TRYING…deficiency is when people dont even question themsleves and dont try to make improvements…above all make dua Allah makes these hugs easy for you
i agreee with Post 23, brother anon….you dont want to wait till she dies to give her that tight embrace..forgive me if that sounds a little harsh..am making dua for you sis
November 7, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Hang on a second. In the previous post people were writing hours of poetry for lost engagements, others were judging all womankind and talking a load of bakwas.
Here I am worried about my relationship with my mum and it gets called trivial? SubhanAllah.
Yes I do think about the orphans. Do you think about them 24/7?
Such is life, we allocate brain time and thinking time to different things of importance. And a lot of the time things that are not.
Without a doubt you also think about things others would find trivial.
November 7, 2008 at 1:59 pm
SubhanAllah. Dont think ive watched something so heartwretching and profound in so long. Im quite speechless- Allah Ta’ala give us all the tawfiq to serve our parents in the way prescribed by Allah Ta’ala.Ameen.
November 8, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Dear sis Umm
trust me you will find a way… I did. My mum isnt a hugger either and up until a few years ago I finally gave her a hug unlike my little sis who is constantly hugging and kissing her. Some mums are just like that they are not expressive in the physical sense.
But I know I’ve had to work really hard in building a bond in another way. I know this because whenever she is in need Im the first one she’ll call, even if its so trivial, she will ask from me rather than any of my siblings and I know that even though she doesnt show it when Im in pain she is so concerned and stressed.
You just need to make sure you’r always at hand for her.. and never say no as thats what I do. Even if its as simple as I’ll come round and clean up or put her washing out if shes out or even cooking she’ll appreciate it.
sorry sis I know they sound like really simple examples but serving parents isnt difficult at all, I think we have to overcome what we feel and fear and not analyse things too much. Thats what I did.
Just being around them and spending time listening and doing things without being asked to always means alot.
Hope that is helpful.
I make dua that Allah swt fills your hearts with Mercy and love for one another. Ameen
November 8, 2008 at 9:51 pm
ooh im so scared umm oooh u insulted me oooh
get over it
November 9, 2008 at 1:33 am
There are so many Muslim, who have (dare i say) horrible parents. Parents who do not fulfill any of their rights. Parents who neglect their children in almost every way. I think it is high time these issues were addressed.
I am NOT belittling the rights of our parents. No way.
I just really wish Scholars and Da’ees would address these issues. So many Muslims suffer insults, curses and abuse from their parents, day in, day out! And in response they get ‘Remember Jannah is at you mom’s feet..’ But when you mum is bringing your Eman down, what are you suppose to do?
November 9, 2008 at 2:40 am
lol. b. How sad. May Allah guide us and forgive our shortcomings.
JazakumAllah khair everyone.
November 14, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Salams all
I just really wish Scholars and Da’ees would address these issues. So many Muslims suffer insults, curses and abuse from their parents, day in, day out! And in response they get ‘Remember Jannah is at you mom’s feet..’ But when you mum is bringing your Eman down, what are you suppose to do?
This has been dealt with in detail in the al-Adab al-Mufrad series which will be released in a high quality, fully navigatable format with menus, chapters, text etc on DVD insha’Allah in the next few months – much better than the public free versions on TV and the Net at the very least because of the features above and the extras DVD with Q & A which dealt with a lot of specific questions like yours as well as outtakes and stuff.
In quick summary though, although yes the principle is that you put up with all sorts to get the job done, your parents don’t come in front of your Deen and your ultimate relationship with Allah. There is a cut-off point and a limit, but that limit will differ and vary from person to person and situation to situation, requiring a mufti to make individual judgements each time with the honest appraisal of the one who knows the score best i.e. you.
And Allah knows best.
November 21, 2008 at 5:58 am
Salamunalaikum…!
Words cannot represnt feelings n feelings cannot be seen but only can be felt by the heart.
Fortunate are those who have thier parents especially mother n whosoever take care of her in the right way.
Mother is another name n form of mercy n Muhabbat(love)
Her love for her children is unconditional,unsurpassable and unique of all.
Brothers let race towards the gate of paradise lest it closes before we could open it..
November 27, 2008 at 11:41 am
jazakallahu khair! i cant stop crying..
November 30, 2008 at 7:49 am
[...] Your Parents Feet and Repent to Allah: AE From Shaykh Abu Eesa Niamatullah’s blog: Kiss Your Parents’ Feet and Repent to Allah AE YouTube – Reality TV By the way, when youve stopped crying, recognise your guilt and now do [...]
May 21, 2009 at 4:33 am
June 29, 2009 at 4:43 pm
[...] This was said to be the work of the poet Ibrahim al-Mundhir but it is more likely the poem of the Christian poet Bishara al-Khouri who was actually the first President of Lebanon. [Source] [...]
July 29, 2009 at 4:55 pm
this is really sad. its affected me a lot. inshAllah i will become really good to my parents.
October 31, 2009 at 9:17 pm
To Abu Eesa
While Googling to check about 2 lines in the great Arabic poem, The Mother’s Heart, I came across your site and the not-so-bad translation of some of its parts.
The writer of comment 41 (June 29, 2009) asked about the source regarding your footnote that “[t]his was said to be the work of the poet Ibrahim al-Mundhir but it is more likely the poem of the Christian poet Bishara al-Khouri who was actually the first President of Lebanon,” but there was no response.
In your above footnote there are 2 mistakes:
1- The poem IS by Ibrahim al-Mundhir (1875-1950 AD)
2- The poet Bisharah/Bechara ‘Abdallah al-Khouri/Khoury (1885-1968), nicknamed al-Akhtal as-Sagheer after the great Umayyad poet, Akhtal (Ghiyath ibn Ghawth al-Taghlibi al-Akhtal), was NOT the 1st president of independent Lebanon. The latter was (Sheikh) Bisharah/Bechara Khali al-Khouri/Khoury (1890-1964).
Then there’s the surprising point of having to say “the Christian poet Bishara al-Khouri,” although both poets – al-Mundhir and al-Khouri/Khoury – as well as the President, were ALL Christian.
Like many other Christian families in the 18th & 19th centuries (Khāzins, some Hāshims & Khouris, etc.), Mundhir’s father or grandfather was granted the hereditary title of Sheikh (like Bey/Baik to Sunni Muslims).
By the way, I am a Christian Arab married to a European Christian; and our son’s name is Omar/’Umar
http://www.mnaabr.com/vb/showthread.php?t=4710
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechara_El_Khoury
Salamaat